In love with an American Soldier....

With Neil being gone it has allowed me a lot of time to reflect on our relationship. While we've known each other for about eight years, of those eight years we've only been married six. Sometimes, it feels like we've been married 20! In our 'short' marriage we have gone through a lot. God has tested us time and time again and at the end of it all we're still together!

I think the things we have gone through have prepared us to be a military family. We're no strangers to distance. We've lived 1400 miles and an ocean apart before. I think that knowledge is what leaves no doubt that God exists in my mind. How could He not have a hand in us being together? Of all the people I met on my journey's to England all of them were driving me south to where he lived. I had long given up on finding 'the one' when he and I met. He was persistent on me dating him but I was living back in the U.S. then and I wasn't interested in doing this international dating again. Not only was it expensive but it was heartbreaking. Too many long goodbyes said in airports, tears streaming down my cheeks and the lonely walk to the plane by myself. For some reason, he was worth it all.

We know what he signed up for. We aren't delusional in thinking that he won't be deployed at some point, we know he joined up in a time of war. We're entirely aware of the choices that he has made. I believe that the Army trains their soldiers well. I don't think that they would send them into battle thinking that they weren't prepared or that they had not done all they could to prepare them. This is Neil's second go round in an Army, albeit first time in the US Army. He is a born leader. Something in him makes him WANT to be a soldier. I never thought I would be a full-time Army wife but his happiness is something that I could not push aside. He likes long runs, good PT sessions, playing with guns/cannons and mentoring other soldiers. How could I not be proud of him?

Seeing Neil with all of the other recruits that he started BCT with was something I'm not likely to forget. They had all changed, matured...even Neil! For the most part he stayed the same but when he saw us there was pride in his eyes. He was happy that we were there to support him and proud to show us all off. I was whisked between soldiers and Drill Sergeants and meeting everyone in between. Seeing him become a citizen and pinning his PFC pin on him were things I was all too happy to be apart of!

That time was over all too soon. Sunday rolled around quicker than I cared for and we were standing in the parking lot in front of his new unit with tears in our eyes. When he grabbed me and pulled me into his chest I could feel myself collapse from the inside out. It felt like my heart had given out and the sobbing was uncontrollable. I pulled away to look at his face and saw tears streaming down his face. In that moment I realized we were feeling the same thing, he was going to miss me just as much. I buried my face in his chest again and continued to cry. Every once in awhile I felt light kisses on the top of my head and a soothing rub on my back from his hand. We kissed once more and he grabbed his bags, told me he loved me and he would see me soon and started to walk off. We held hands until they were broke by the distance and I got in the car and cried. I couldn't watch him walk away. I cried for a few minutes and when I thought he was likely gone, we drove off.

I can still recall that pain in my heart as I write this. He really is my everything. I don't know how I would live or breathe without him. I hope they are things I never have to try and do. The thought of him being gone for good brings tears to my eyes now, I could only imagine what it would feel like if it were real. I pray that he is never taken from me but I know that a lot of military wives have made those prayers before and not all of them were answered. He is willing to give his life for this country. He is willing to give his life for all that he believes in.

I'm proud of him. My husband, my soldier. He doesn't need to wear a cape to be our hero. Wearing combat boots is enough. He most likely will never make it into the headlines or be on the front of the newspaper for all the good he will do but I will know. His son will know. Joining up in a time of war makes him braver than most people I know. I am proud to be his wife, even before he was a soldier I knew he was destined for great things. God called him to be a soldier and he has answered the call.

On Neil's facebook page is a quote from the Toby Keith song 'American Soldier'. This is is a song that touches both of our hearts and fills us with pride to the point of tears when we hear it. The quote reads: "I will always do my duty, no matter what the price. I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice. I don't want to die for you but if dying's asked of me, I'll bear that cross with honor cause freedom don't come free."

American Soldier - Toby Keith