I was touched by this song today. It actually gets to me every time I hear it and Tenth Avenue North is definitely becoming one of my favorite Christian bands but I think this song may help a lot of people. We all face trials in our every day lives but breaking down those walls and confessing your sins is really where the healing begins.
It doesn't matter how much you have or don't have. If friends judge you on that then they are not friends at all. Neil and I have gone through a lot in the last few years and we really learned who our friends were and weren't. The people who couldn't get their heads around us going through financial hardship and both Neil and I losing our jobs almost simultaneously, having to move back in with my parents and selling our beloved brand new Dodge Charger were the people that we could do without and we trimmed that fat in our lives.
I never thought that I would be in a position of having to justify myself to people. Neil used to tell me all the time that I didn't need to answer to anyone but myself. I felt ashamed that we were going through rough times with a baby on the way. It didn't help when friends would look down their noses at me. I thanked God every day though that my parents were able to take us in. Had it not been for them...I shudder to think where we would've ended up.
As for the Army, I am not upset one bit about Neil wanting to join and this is a decision that we entered into together. A lot of discussion went into it. As a matter of fact, 5 years of discussing went into it. We're just thankful that Neil has the opportunity to do something that he truly loves. He was upset when he had to leave the Territorial Army back in England for us to move back to the States. I will always be proud of and faithful to him.
It doesn't matter what I have or don't have. I have the love of my husband, son, parents, sister, in-laws, my savior - Jesus Christ and the Great Father Almighty. Those are the only people I will answer to.
This is where the healing begins....
Healing Begins - Tenth Avenue North
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
I was born for this...
As I was relaxing in the shower (I know, just the visual you wanted) and I was thinking about how well (I think) I'm coping with Neil being gone. I twisted the Army bracelet back and forth on my wrist while I stared at the words 'Army Strong'. I began to smile to myself as I realized what those words really meant to me.
I thought back to meeting Neil and going over in my head how good I am at waiting patiently for something to happen. It took awhile to get things in order to go over and meet Neil for the first time. Throw on top of that the fact that we were planning out trips around the UK and a wedding. I had to apply for a visitors visa before I went with all the post 9/11 craziness. Once I get there we run all over the country and then we're separated again. I head back to the US, alone, to obtain my spousal visa to move back to the UK. Another two months we were apart and LOTS of paperwork. Finally make it back to be with him and we decide to move back to the US. We spend 11 months in the visa process with endless amounts of paperwork back and forth between the US and England. Side note: It took me TWO WEEKS to obtain a spousal visa to move to the UK. It took Neil ONE YEAR to get his visa.
Once we move back to the US Neil had two years that he wasn't allowed to leave the country and then we had to apply for his Permanent Resident card. Thank you, US Government! Exactly what I wanted! More paperwork!! Easy, we get it done and Neil is done and dusted for TEN YEARS! Or so we thought....
My dear, sweet, precious hubby decides that he wants to be in the US Army. The first thing I thought was 'What?!' the second thought 'I wonder how much paperwork is involved in that?'. You see where my thoughts go. But I patiently research everything for him while he goes and visits the recruiters and finds out what it's going to take for him to join the Army. He starts losing weight and I research myself to death finding the ins and outs of the whole process. My first hurdle; getting Neil's credentials from his schooling in the UK converted to the US equivalent. Where does one start? More research! Because the Army has an overflow of people wanting to join right now they don't feel the need to do anything like pay for the conversion of credentials. We find a company to do it I pay for them to expedite it there is NOTHING speedy about their process but they refuse to refund me anything. Give me my stuff back and let me go!
We give everything to the recruiter and the process seemed to gain wings from there. It all went quite quick. He kept losing weight and the waiting and countdowns continued until the day he left. I'm just very good at waiting and paperwork AND countdowns! This is something that I am not ashamed of. I think all that we have been through has prepared me for becoming an Army wife. Neil and I have done transatlantic moving twice, moved house four times so moving from post to post should be no problem at all.
We have been through SO much, we couldn't be more prepared for this process. Me specifically. I am just so used to doing a lot of moving and paperwork, I was made for the Army LOL!
I really am thankful for all that God has given me and I can't believe that we're doing this Army thing again. I only did it for a short time in England and he was only part time there but it was still crazy dealing with his training schedules etc. I love that man though, there is no doubt about that and I'm doing my best to pick up the slack and help where I can since I stay at home with the toddler right now. I'm looking forward to what God has in store for us next but whatever it is it will be Neil and I all the way!
I thought that I needed to bring this diary up to present time so I could have somewhere to write. I hope to be able to go back and write about how we got here later on but I definitely need this now!
I thought back to meeting Neil and going over in my head how good I am at waiting patiently for something to happen. It took awhile to get things in order to go over and meet Neil for the first time. Throw on top of that the fact that we were planning out trips around the UK and a wedding. I had to apply for a visitors visa before I went with all the post 9/11 craziness. Once I get there we run all over the country and then we're separated again. I head back to the US, alone, to obtain my spousal visa to move back to the UK. Another two months we were apart and LOTS of paperwork. Finally make it back to be with him and we decide to move back to the US. We spend 11 months in the visa process with endless amounts of paperwork back and forth between the US and England. Side note: It took me TWO WEEKS to obtain a spousal visa to move to the UK. It took Neil ONE YEAR to get his visa.
Once we move back to the US Neil had two years that he wasn't allowed to leave the country and then we had to apply for his Permanent Resident card. Thank you, US Government! Exactly what I wanted! More paperwork!! Easy, we get it done and Neil is done and dusted for TEN YEARS! Or so we thought....
My dear, sweet, precious hubby decides that he wants to be in the US Army. The first thing I thought was 'What?!' the second thought 'I wonder how much paperwork is involved in that?'. You see where my thoughts go. But I patiently research everything for him while he goes and visits the recruiters and finds out what it's going to take for him to join the Army. He starts losing weight and I research myself to death finding the ins and outs of the whole process. My first hurdle; getting Neil's credentials from his schooling in the UK converted to the US equivalent. Where does one start? More research! Because the Army has an overflow of people wanting to join right now they don't feel the need to do anything like pay for the conversion of credentials. We find a company to do it I pay for them to expedite it there is NOTHING speedy about their process but they refuse to refund me anything. Give me my stuff back and let me go!
We give everything to the recruiter and the process seemed to gain wings from there. It all went quite quick. He kept losing weight and the waiting and countdowns continued until the day he left. I'm just very good at waiting and paperwork AND countdowns! This is something that I am not ashamed of. I think all that we have been through has prepared me for becoming an Army wife. Neil and I have done transatlantic moving twice, moved house four times so moving from post to post should be no problem at all.
We have been through SO much, we couldn't be more prepared for this process. Me specifically. I am just so used to doing a lot of moving and paperwork, I was made for the Army LOL!
I really am thankful for all that God has given me and I can't believe that we're doing this Army thing again. I only did it for a short time in England and he was only part time there but it was still crazy dealing with his training schedules etc. I love that man though, there is no doubt about that and I'm doing my best to pick up the slack and help where I can since I stay at home with the toddler right now. I'm looking forward to what God has in store for us next but whatever it is it will be Neil and I all the way!
I thought that I needed to bring this diary up to present time so I could have somewhere to write. I hope to be able to go back and write about how we got here later on but I definitely need this now!
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